Paul's Motorcycle Diaries - Part One

I bought my motorbike on Monday 15th December and began my adventure on Tuesday morning. By this time I had actually seen a great many roads in Vietnam, travelling from the airport, my round trip to Ha Long Bay and on the streets of Hanoi, so I felt prepared for joining the vehicular fray (or 'battle' as I have heard it is referred to.)

People have said that I must be brave, but the truth is I only needed to be brave at the moment of actually buying the motorbike - the rest is then all down to survival and determination. Besides, I grin from ear-to-ear when I am riding. Others have said that I must be mad, and I must concede that it helps to be slightly unhinged on the roads here as no discernible rules of the road are adhered to and you would very quickly lose all reason and either 1) get very mad at everybody or 2) pull over and shake violently! A small group have suggested that this is my middle-aged 'Top Gear' moment - though I feel more like Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' than Jeremy Clarkson in 'Top Gear' riding here.

    

       A bike hire company cashing in on the Top Gear Vietnam Special and my stunt double!

   

      Vinh, my trusty guide in Hanoi, with my bike prior to departure at the garage I bought it

   

                 Eerily clear road - so I took a couple of selfies as I was going (as you do!)

Of course - carrying my luggage was an issue and I managed to get the garage to attach a metal rack and cables for free. (They wanted to include a helmet in the price, but the knackered second-hand offerings they had were truly awful.) Without thought, I let the garage load my big rucksack on the first day and they mounted it right at the back. As a result, when I set off, the steering was as frisky as a lamb in Springtime and I thought I had forgotten how to ride! Fortunately, Ronald spotted the poor loading when I sent him a picture that evening and he was fast to encourage me to make a change. Apparently 60% of the braking comes from the front brakes and the weight of my bags being so far back were affecting both the handling and the braking. Much better on the second day as I put the bags sideways and further forward. (Don't tell my Mum, but the brakes are still dodgy!)

                                         

                  

                                              Good call Ronald - I owe you another one!

Day One - Hanoi to Ninh Binh 109km. I was very worried about safely leaving Hanoi due to the large volume of people and traffic on the roads in the capital and the fact that I do not have a sense of direction (just ask Shirley or Sarah.) But once I was on Highway A1 heading south, things went well. No speedo on the bike so I am guessing my speed and distance travelled. Indeed according to the solitary dial on the bike - it is practically brand new and has only done 554kms - though I note it has not increased as I have ridden! Friends back home have been asking me if I plan to keep the bike and have it shipped back to the UK? I've told them I will decide after I reach Ho Chi Minh City in 1,800kms time (though to be honest I know the bike would never make UK or European standards and the suspension is so shot that when I hit a bump in the road I bounce up and down for the next 20 metres!)

    

Day Two - Ninh Binh to Vinh 208km. Beautiful weather and remarkable scenery (literally a Ha Long Bay landscape on land.) Stopped at a little restaurant and ate with the family. Took the picture of the girls and gave them a sweet each. Visited a new church. Stopped at a decent hotel and watched the football in the restaurant - Thailand v Malaysia in the final of the Asian Cup (Vietnam were knocked out in the semis by Malaysia.) Given a menu and asked to choose, but everything I asked for they came back and said they couldn't do - so they brought me chicken broth and a chicken and chilli dish with rice (funniest looking chicken I've ever seen - the bones were huge!) Tired after the ride so went to bed early.

                 

Day Three - Vinh to Dong Hoi 202km (aborted at Ky Anh due to poor weather, feeling cold, dark rain clouds and my lack of confidence that I would find a hotel at Dong Hoi in the dark if I continued at the pace I was going.) Got stopped by the police/army. Pulled over as requested, dismounted and turned off my engine and the policeman proceeded to use google translate on his phone to reprimand me for speeding. Apparently there is a 40km/hr limit inside the city zones and I was doing 49. That was news to me as I have no working gauges whatsoever. I was about to point this out to the policeman when I thought better of it - I didn't want him inspecting the bike too closely and discovering bits that are not legal or road safe. He googled me that I would have to pay a fine to his colleague of 200,000 Dong (about $10) when I tried to pay in US, they freaked out and asked for Vietnamese currency (I wondered if they would be keeping the money for themselves?) Whilst I was paying they pulled a local motorcyclist for the same offence. It made me drive more conservatively, but I reckon that my top speed must be 85km/hr based on what they said I was doing but I am only averaging 40km/hr.

I ended up staying in a flea pit of a hotel at this unscheduled stopover. A mouse came into my room for company. There was no food and terrible standards of hygiene, but at least I was off the road. I made myself a meal of nuts, crisps and chocolate washed down with Yorkshire tea from my trusty travel kettle and then I went out and found a billiard hall and played pool for a couple of hours to while away the hours away from my smelly hotel room.

    

                                   Stunning landscapes, but ominously overcast

Day Four - Ky Anh to Dong Hoi 99km. Another tiring ride, especially on an empty stomach, but I held out until Dong Hoi and found a hotel which wanted 400,000 Dong for the night. It was very nice in comparison the the flea pit last night - so I agreed (about £12.00.) I went to find a place to eat for lunch and after I had eaten - I ordered some more! I then went for a walk along the river towards the coast. I passed a vibrant market, hundreds of colourful fishing boats and ingenious local fishing techniques and homes on stilts. In the evening I went to a Karaoke bar to check it out, but it was one of those with dozens of private party rooms on many floors, rather than a huge bar I could blend into, so I left and found a restaurant at the other end of the town. I finished my day watching 'Enemy of the State' on TV.

     

       

Day Five - Dong Hoi to Hue 162km. Again I left without breakfast (the hotel did not have a working restaurant and I think I was their only guest) so I put 5 chocolate eclair sweets in my pocket and set off at 10.30 after booking accomodation in Hue on the internet (room availability looked scarce with only 11 hotels from 139 saying they had rooms for two nights in my price range.) The first hour went well, but each day I am aching earlier and earlier in the ride. My bottom hurts, my right wrist hurts and my back aches after a while and the constant throb and vibration from the engine goes right through you. I am also carrying my small rucsack weighing in at 7kgs on my back. It means I have to regularly get off and walk around a bit to get the circulation going again, especially on colder days. Stopping for petrol becomes a strategic break, as does taking a leak at the side of the road (eveyone does it!) I also stop to take photos though I have stopped photographing war memorials now as they are so numerous. The bigger ones are usually by rivers and railway junctions - so I presume they were the site of signifcant fighting or bombing. Everywhere you look, the legacy of the Vietnam War is visible. Knackered footings of bridges next to newer ones at river crossings, cemeteries, statues, memorials, captured aircraft and weaponry on display, museums and cutural references in posters, banners and road names. I made the mistake of listening to the musical 'Miss Saigon' today as I rode and it made me cry (and I mean sob to the point of blurry vision) as I surveyed the landscape and really listened to the lyrics (but I love that musical!) 

    

    

                   

Anyway, I stopped in Dong Ha for lunch and promptly fell off my motorbike (I had been riding for three hours without food and the luggage makes the bike precarious at the best of times) only to discover that the place I had stopped at didn't serve food. The daughter offered to go and buy me something, but I just asked for a cup of tea and studied my map. I was concerned I would not make in to Hue before dark - so at 2.00pm I hit the road again.  (You can see from the picture above, that I cut in fine!)

Fortunately, the next 65kms went more quickly and I arrived in Hue at 4.30. I met a guy on a street corner who saw me looking at my map as I looked for my hotel and he said I was nearly there (just around the next corner.) We talked about my bike and he said it was smelling hot. He asked if I had checked the oil? I hadn't and he said it definitely needed some. He called a friend over on a scooter and told me to follow him to a garage to get some new oil. I did and we ended up at a back street garage (there are no other kinds here) and they changed the oil in minutes as I watched. The new stuff cost me £15.00 so I should feel the difference. The guy who escorted me said I had paid too much for my bike when I told him the cost - "$150 - $200 US would have been a fair price," he said.

Anyway, I then followed him to my hotel and I have checked in to a former French mansion. Huge old rooms and high doors and ceilings with a wonderful lobby. I am staying for two nights to recharge my batteries, give my aching body time to recover and to tour the area of Hue. I also have a bath in my room so I plan to have a long soak later (my travel plug will come in handy as there isn't one.)

Tonight I went out for a meal (my first of the day excluding a few sweets and a bag of crisps) at a place called 'The DMZ' a bar that celebrates the fact that this area was in the heart of the 'De-Militarised Zone' during the conflict. The pool light was a Viet Cong helmet and the ceiling fan was a large model of a Huey helicopter! Did you know that the film "Good Morning Vietnam" was filmed in the nearby city of Da Nang (70kms south) and I remember the late Robin Williams saying "Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!" and I now know he was referring to the Mekong Delta in the south and the area I am in right now. I must watch that film again soon. 

I was challenged to play pool by the bar manager and then his colleague and you'll all be pleased to know that my misspent youth (and lots of snooker with Howard and Rob) meant that I won.

    

    

                  

To be continued...